My She Speaks Experience: Part 3

Sorry for the slight delay in getting this post up. Last night we had some pretty serious storms roll through the Charlotte area making it somewhat difficult to get this post up.  Hope you enjoy it! Be blessed!

After listening to Lysa’s “Let God Chisel” message it was time for a short break and then dinner…

Sitting at the table, I wait patiently for my food as I watch everyone else at my table, plus the surrounding tables, get their plates. One of my table mates looks at me to point out that my plate was missing.

I say: “Its okay, I’m sure I’ll get mine soon.”

And I wait.

Meanwhile, I’m watching the servers work their way through the huge room, setting down plates for everyone at the other tables. Wasn’t it obvious? My plate was missing!

And then it happens a stinking thought creeps into my head: Yep, Latanya, you’re just forgettable. You’ve always been forgettable.

Feelings of sadness crept in. At that moment, I wanted to be anywhere but there–feeling forgotten and rejected.

But with boldness and truth a new thought came: “You are not forgotten and you are not rejected.”

Then it started…a mini-conversation between my ‘forgotten’ self and my ‘sensible’ self.

They forgot my plate. This is like it always is. No one hears me when I’m trying to talk to them, and no one sees me even when I’m am right smack in front of them.” I mentally argue back, acting as though the whole incident is not even fazing me.

Your plate was forgotten because the servers are busy thinking trying to serve 650+ people. They didn’t realize their mistake. It was simply an oversight.”

Okay. But…” Finally, I catch the attention of a passing server and my plate is served shortly.

God chiseled. 

God chiseled me to reject thoughts of destruction against myself. Those erroneous, irrational thoughts only destroy my confidence in Him.

Lesson received, dinner served and enjoyed.

It was time to go to the Glynnis Whitwer’s, Writers: Ten Ways to Sabotage Your Writing breakout session before leaving for my 15 minute publisher meeting. My nerves were on edge as I constantly looked at the time and mentally rehearsed what I wanted to say, all while trying to listen to Glynnis.

I quietly left before the session ended to return to my room to prepare for my meeting. I freshened up, double checked that my book proposal and one sheet were placed with care in my tote, and I quickly left, praying as I went.

Waiting outside the meeting room my thoughts were filled with questions. Would I say the right things? Would I fumble my words? Would I absolutely fail to accomplish what I wanted to?

I said a quick prayer for God to give me His words to say.

Nervously, I stepped into the room. Inside a sweet lady with a nice friendly smile greeted me. Momentarily reassured, I introduced myself and presented my children’s picture book, Clay in the Potter’s Hands. I don’t remember all that I said, but I do remember it was absolutely NOT what I had practiced. I sat there, listening to myself talk, and I was absolutely shocked. My unrehearsed words were making sense. Ms. Kerr asked that I share a little about myself. I responded briefly trying to connect my words back to my book. As I was talking to her I realized a new reason why I had written the book. I had wrote it for my *son, so he could feel special in the eyes of God.

The moment came to present the book proposal to Ms. Kerr. Just as she accepted my book proposal, the door to the room opened. Not realizing that it was a 5 minute warning, I quickly wrapped up my final remarks, thanked Ms. Kerr for her time, and walked out of the room. My appointment with Harvest House publishers was over and I had successfully presented my book. I was thrilled!

God had shown me several things that night. I was not forgotten and my words did mean something, enough for a Senior Editor of a large publishing house to see something worthy in my book. I have yet to hear back, but that night I accomplished something that I thought was impossible. It gave me hope to believe in the impossible.

~~~~

Come back on Thursday to read about Saturday at She Speaks and how I learned not to throw away my confidence. You can too!

^^^

*When I wrote Clay in the Potter’s Hands, Luke was a sweet, developmentally delayed 1 ½ year old. Most children at 1 ½ years speak with audible words and walk with relative ease, but he did not. Luke spoke his own inaudible language and primarily got around by scooting on his behind. He completely skipped crawling. When he was 6, we were informed that he had a non-specified learning disorder affecting his fine and gross motor skills. Today he turns 10 and is thriving nicely at home as one of my 3 homeschooled children. Unless you knew what to look for, you would never know that he ever had developmental delays. (Perhaps, a blog post is being birthed!)

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About LatanyaWagner

I'm a homeschooling mom of 3. Originally from Georgia, where I grew up learning about the value of hard work while living on a farm, I now live near Charlotte, NC, working hard to raise a family that loves and honors God. I have a Bachelors of Science degree in Architectural Engineering and a Masters of Arts degree in Counseling Ministry. I'm also an aspiring writer and speaker. I'm currently writing my second novel and a non-fiction book on homeschooling. I recently (Jan. 2013) self-published my first Christian Romance Novel, 'Mending Hearts' on Amazon.
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